Mark Twain Quotations

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.


Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress . . .
But then I repeat myself.


No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.


The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.


There is no distinctly Native American criminal class . . . save Congress.