iSheep: The Losers of the New Millennium

Q: What does a sheep say when its food is withheld?
A: "Bahhhh"

Q: What does an iSheep say when its food is withheld?
A: "Whatever. Like, what I'm really PO'd about is that the wireless service is down."

All over the news today it was reported that iPhone buyers were lining up overnight in order to purchase a piece of The Promised iLand. After listening to some of them on the radio, I became absolutely convinced that psychologists missed a major marketing opportunity by not handing out their business cards to everyone in line.

These iPhone fanatics will clearly be shown in the history books as the poster children for human devolution [sic]. I have nothing but disdain for each and every one of them. For they are the same people who:

• Swerve around in their cars, making lane changes without signalling, and drive worse than most drunk drivers. If you get up close to such a twit they're always yapping on their phones or even texting while driving.
  
• Go on romantic walks with each other, yet are each on their own phones the whole time.
• Go out to dinner together but are constantly text messaging the entire time.
• Take their kids out for a walk or to a park, yet completely ignore them, focusing instead on their favourite subject, themselves. Looking at the sad faces of the little ones, it's nothing short of child neglect.

These people are nothing short of pathetic. They have major self-esteem and attention deficit disorder problems and haven't had an original thought since they were 3 years old and figured how to snap two Lego blocks together They are certain to have a nervous breakdown the day The Big One (earthquake) occurs in Metro Vancouver; not because of the enormous physical damage but because they won't be able to iChat with their iLoser Phoney iFriends.