Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Dennis Miller Haiku Submissions

I'm slowly waking up this morning. Dennis Miller just announced that they're having a Haiku contest. I remember writing some Haiku in high school English classes. The key is the requirement to follow a 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

Here were my submissions to his show:

Dennis and Sal rock
Stronger than a cup of joe
Each day starts off great

Dennis is da man
Marconi's Exhibit 'A'
Martians laugh much too

Dennis Miller's Show
Talk radio's witty chap
Best cranium cleanse

Den Miller: Yank star
Though married to a Canuck
We still adore him

Sal the dark sidekick
Treenie stalker wannabe
Gut wrencher galore

Update: I've never had the nerve to call Dennis up but I now have an idea that he might like. The concept is simple: Devote 30 or 60 minutes in which every caller would have to start off with 3 or 6 lines of Haiku. More than that would have the Teddy K. poet nutters clogging up the phone boards! After that they could talk about anything they wanted ... and probably not in Haiku format. The best Haiku attempt would win a prize. I get the sense that they might have one or two Listening Fez's to give away!

Here's an example of how such a call could start:

Hello Sal! Hey Den.
Can one rent Sal for birthdays?
He'd be a big hit!

Just one problem though . . .
Would Sabes bring his organ too?
That completes Sal's schtick!

Here's another one:

What do you call this:
Harry Reid Meets Larry Craig?
Dim Bulb in the loo.

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